If you clicked on this blog either A you already know me & your supporting me by reading. (Thank YOU!) Or B you’ve had to deal with rejection in your life.
I decided to talk about rejection because, quite Frankly... I’m an expert. I get rejected daily, weekly, heck all the time! Get ready for some real talk...
The other day I was working and I had a customer tell me, you look like you’re ready for Halloween. Um excuse me, come again? No, YOU look like you're ready for halloween! Were the first things that popped in my head. But my reaction was completely different I said “well yes I am ready for Halloween!” Sarcasm level at 100, I could’ve brought it down a notch but it was that or start an arguement. I opted out of the arguement and decided to smile.
Now I now you must be thinking I’m crazy, I’m weak, I’m boring. Human nature says talk back, tell him off, stoop to his level. But in actuality I decided that it wasn’t even worth it.
I’m rejected at work daily by customers. It’s normal, either they don’t respond at all, or they are rude & treat you like dirt. Im rejected by “friends” by family. As an influencer, I’m rejected by people when I don’t meet their standards, “you’re ugly, your nose is big, your not thin enough, that outfit is hideous, I don’t like your makeup, you’re not going to make it, negative comments on social media, no’s on your insta polls.” I’ve been rejected by companies. I’ve been rejected by other Youtubers. And the list goes on my friends.
Being rejected sucks! Sometimes is can hurt, it can even make us want to change! I’m here to tell you enough is enough! There will always be people that don’t like you, have negative views of you, or standards that you won’t meet. We can’t be perfect. Don’t try to be either because you’ll continue failing over and over again.
Here are some ways I have overcome rejection:
1. Don’t take everything so personal and serious
Before, ANY little thing would get to me. Words would pierce my soul & make me feel so sad. They would resonate so much negativity in my mind. I’ve learned to overcome that by remembering that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am here on earth so I have a purpose. I own my imperfections & am okay with not being what everyone in the world wants me to be. I remember that I have a calling on my life, that I was not made to be like anyone else.
2. Remembering that people have issues
Many times the people that lash out at you, are mean, and intentionally try to hurt you, are actually hurt themselves. There’s a phrase “hurt people, hurt people.” This is true my friends. Who knows what this man was going through that day when he basically called me ugly. People’s response to you says more about them then you! It’s a heart issue, people unknowingly wear their hearts on their sleeve. When someone is randomly rude, mean, and negative, it shows you what’s in their heart. Maybe they have low self esteem & want to bring you down. Maybe they have never experienced love in their life so they hate. I’ve learned that it’s not worth lashing out because the last thing the person needs is more hurt in their life. I know sometimes you feel like they deserve it, but they are clouding by their pain that they don’t know a healthy way to communicate, being rude is their norm. And even though they may deserve it in the moment doesn't mean you need to be just like them, which brings us to my next point.
3. Controlling Myself.
I can’t control your words, your thoughts, or your actions, but I can control mine & How I react to things. People are not powerful enough to control my emotions & my thoughts of myself. To be honest they were in the past. When I let any little thing get to me, secretly, I was letting them win. I was feeding their opinions to myself making myself feel worthless. I've learned throughout the years to find my identity in Jesus and the game changed from then on. I was confident in who God made me, and this confidence allows me to not be easily offended because I know who I am, even if they don't know who they are. Just because someone thinks I’m too happy doesn’t mean I’m going to walk around depressed. In the same way, when it comes to self control, it not only means controlling how you respond, but also, how you react! Sometimes when we go through things we can tend to be snappy, mean, impatient, wait did I describe myself when I’m hungry... oops. But forreal, we need to choose our words & make sure we don’t speak negatively because of a temporary condition. We aren’t perfect and we can be the mean person sometimes. There’s a phrase I learned as a child “if it’s not nice, don’t say it at all”. Stick to that.
4. Do you. Be you. Cut them off
In life if you have “friends” that are only negative towards you, then they aren’t your friend. Be careful with who you surround yourself with. Someone’s negativity can run off on you, don’t be that person. Little by little start being friends with people that actually care, that actually want to see you grow, that will be truthful to you without being rude, mean, or sassy. You don’t have to deal with that. Letting go of a person you have history with is NOT easy my friend. People think cutting off a person in life means you're saying "Screw you, I'm done!" In some cases it can mean that if you've been hurt. But most of the time it just means that you support them but they aren't growing with you so you'll have less conversations with them. It means, you have new things in life that they don't need to be a part of because it's a new season. Some friends are meant to be there for life, and some are just for a season. We often get confused on who is actually suppose to be there. Put it this way, if you tend to lose focus, feel rejected, feel discouraged, or fall back when you're with certain people, then they aren't meant to stay forever. Have the courage to let go, God will never leave you with lack, your relationships will transform when you put them in the hands of Jesus.
5. Throw kindness around like confetti
We throw confetti around when there is cause for celebration. Throwing kindness around like confetti may be hard for some people. What is there to celebrate anyways? You were rude, woohoo! In reality, the fact that you're alive is cause for celebration! Being nice to others when they reject you is definitely NOT second nature. It will be challenging. I know it may sound stupid but trust me, it feels great. You have the power to speak into your life & people’s lives! Use it in a positive light, spread the love, and share good thoughts. There’s too much negativity in the world already. Kindness is rare these days, and YOU have the power to create it! So I challenge you to be more kind, give a compliment, let someone skip you, smile, it’s free guys.
Hopefully this will transform the way you think about rejection. At the end of the day, it’s all about the real you on the inside, spread light, and smile more. Comment down below if you have something particular that you do, if you agreed with any of this, if you hated it (love you anyways, rude!), or if you’d like to share this feel free!